Loss and tragedy will strike each of us at one time or another whether it’s the death of a loved one, divorce, breakup, miscarriage, job loss, financial hardships, or another calamity.
Disaster changes the landscape of your life. And you stand amidst the emotional rubble and sometimes physical wreckage, and you wonder how you will ever cope.
No matter the type of loss, people handle loss and grief in many different ways.
Let’s look at Nehemiah’s story, and then find ways to restore comfort, hope and peace.
Nehemiah’s story
Nehemiah found help and hope in the wreckage of tragedy. Though he lived centuries ago, his life lessons still apply to us today. A Jewish man in a foreign land, Nehemiah worked for royalty as the cup-bearer to the king of Persia.
When he heard news that the city of Jerusalem lay in ruins and its walls had been burned and broken, he was greatly distressed and saddened. His heart broke for his people. In ancient times, city walls were essential for security and protection against the danger of all kinds of enemies.
Nehemiah prayed to God for the right words to say his boss, a very powerful king. He prayed and fasted, and prayed again. He praised God, asked for forgiveness, and presented his request to the king.
The good news is that this humble servant found favor. The king gave Nehemiah guarantee of safe passage with special papers and officers to accompany him to get timber rebuild the city walls.
Once in Jerusalem, Nehemiah enlisted help. They set about rebuilding and worked heartily. But, worn out and frustrated, the builders’ focus became more on the rubble around them and not the progress they had made.
Nehemiah 4:10 reads, “Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, ‘The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall’” (italics mine).
Have you ever felt like that? Like everything is crumbling around you, and the pieces of your problems lay at your feet like the wreckage from a collapsed building.
It’s too much. You can’t do this. You are simply overwhelmed.
Nehemiah was constantly in prayer. He and his volunteer wall builders regrouped, working hard for a cause they believed in.
When opposition came, they prayed—and posted guards to keep safe.
Finally, the wall was rebuilt and the city repopulated. And they praised God for all He had done for them!
After all that had transpired, they celebrated, as Nehemiah said to the people, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).
Bouncing back from tragedy takes time—a lot of time. It also takes comfort, support and an abundance of prayer.
Rebuilding from loss
God is all about redeeming loss and pain, and healing wounds of all kinds. He is the Master at rebuilding, whether it’s rubble in the streets of Jerusalem or the wreckage in your heart.
We may try to deal with tragedy and the ensuing emotions that follow—sadness, anger, resentment, or guilt—in unhealthy ways.
Sometimes we don’t know what to do, so we do nothing and hope that one day the pain will simply go away.
Navigating the strange and stormy waters of grief is hard. But not impossible.
Everyone’s healing journey will be different. Yours may take longer than mine. God may use different methods to lead you from sorrow to joy. And that’s okay. He is God.
We simply need to trust Him.
How do you find your way forward through the grieving process?
No matter what type of loss you have incurred, comfort and support are the first steps. It can come from the warm embrace of a close friend, a listening ear, or kind words.
We need our friends to help us remember what we already know, or to say nothing and simply be there with us in the midst of the pain.
Many people find soul support as they journal their prayers or their feelings.
Healing also comes through rest, or a change of scenery.
The beauty of nature, God’s creation, is restorative.
Knowing God is with you, and that He is your comforter, brings peace as the words of Matthew 5:4 affirm, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
Healing also comes as you release heart anguish through your tears. Cling to God’s promises, hold on to hope, and surrender your pain to Him in prayer.
Instead of holding it all inside, it can be helpful to talk about what happened with caring friends, family members or a Christian counselor who can help process the pain. Grief unprocessed, ignored or denied, festers. Processing the pain brings release and relief.
Powerful Healing
When you are feeling hopeless the most powerful thing you can do is worship.
Despair cannot journey where praise and worship reside.
You may be too grief-stricken to know what to say. But you can play worship music, or even just sit with your eyes closed and ask God to heal your heart as you rest, focusing on His amazing love and gentle comfort.
As we give God our praises, He gives us His presence.
Focusing on His character and gratefulness, what He has done for you, lift you to a new place. Like rain soaks the desert and brings forth cactus blossoms, worship and prayer bring renewal to a withering heart.
In addition to worship, spending time reading God’s Word brings comfort and hope. Maybe you already read the Bible, maybe you don’t. Now is the time to discover more of the treasure that is the Word of God. It’s your spiritual food, nourishment every day; essential in times of need.
“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. (Romans 15:4)
Open the Bible, there’s hope inside.
The other side of pain is joy, the other side of darkness: light. There is life after loss.
In 2011, a tsunami caused by an 8.9 magnitude earthquake devastated northeastern Japan. It caused widespread destruction and extensive damage–with flooding that destroyed homes, schools and farmland for miles. The official death toll exceeded 9,000 lives.
The landscape is now a sea of debris—a once thriving community is a veritable wasteland.
Years ago I watched a documentary about the disaster and one survivor said, “There’s a different kind of strength you find after you’ve survived something terrible.”
Tragedies can undo us; they can also make us stronger.
Life may be challenging for you right now; you wonder how things will ever change. Take heart. Even in your darkest times, the hope of Christ shines brighter.
When you are weak, He is your strong comfort.
When you are exhausted, He is your strength—firm and secure.
The Light of the World, Christ, shines as your beacon—a lighthouse in the midst of the storm to guide you to safe harbor.
Light always overcomes the darkness. Trust God for new hope—your healing will come.
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POWERFUL PRAYERS IN TIMES OF LOSS
Hear My Cry, Lord
Hear my prayer, O LORD, listen to my cry
for help; be not deaf to my weeping.
Psalm 39:12
Lord, I come before you sad today. You know my heart; you see my tears and hear my cries for help in this time of adversity. I cannot believe this has happened. Some days I am just numb. But you are with me, and that makes all the difference. I am not alone. Help me through this time of trouble, Lord. I know you are stronger than anything that comes against me and I put my trust in You. I’m leaning on you, Lord. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
When I Need Comfort
Praise be to…the God of all comfort, who comforts us
in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Lord, I need you. I need a holy hug to comfort my grief-weary heart. Let me rest in the comfort of Your presence—a place of love, acceptance and peace. Though the storm of pain rages on, Captain my journey back to joy. With all of the consolation and reassurance I receive from you may I one day bring comfort to others in their time of need. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Heal My Broken Heart
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3
Lord, I am completely heartbroken. My heart feels like it’s been shattered in thousands of tiny pieces, like glass on a hardwood floor. How could this happen? Will You please heal my wounded heart, and make something beautiful and worthy from this mess? Rebuild me, Lord. As You take the pieces of the past and form them into the mosaic of my life, help me to trust You. May I give You all the praise for all You are making me to be, healing me and making me whole from the splinters of yesterday. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Joy Will Come Again
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with shouts of joy.
Job 8:21
Lord, I am learning that healing a broken, hurting heart is a process. As we journey from this pile of rubble in my life, give me strength to persevere. Help me not to wallow in resentment, fear, anger or sadness. I know I need to feel my feelings, but then have hope that You will give me strength to move forward. Rebuild me, Lord; realign my life with Your good purposes. Help me to arise to joy and laughter again, to arise to new hope. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
PRAYER RESOURCES by Jackie M. Johnson
Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough
Prayers With Purpose for Women
60-Second Refreshment: Power Prayers for Women