Browsing Tag

hope

When You’ve Been Hurt: Forgive and Be Set Free!

If you’ve ever had your home or car broken into, you know how violating it can feel. It’s happened to me twice.

Break-ins to your vehicle are one thing; break-ins to your inner life can be devastating.

Perhaps you’ve known the sting of rejection from a boyfriend or girlfriend, or the betrayal of a close friend. Maybe you’ve been wounded with the unkind words of another. Or someone has defamed your character.

We see this played out in the news nearly every day. Especially around election time with mudslinging, dirty politics—and fake news.

When you or someone you care about is mistreated, what do you do?

Hold a grudge? Let bitterness and resentment build up? Or, choose to forgive—and walk in freedom and peace?

Justice is served

One of the biggest reasons people don’t want to forgive someone who’s hurt them is because they mistakenly believe that the person will get away with it (whatever they’ve done).

You think the other person should “pay” for what they’ve done—and do so at your hands. But when you forgive, you release him from your hands and give the situation to God to handle; He will ensure justice is served.

Read what Romans 12:19 says in The Message Bible:

“Don’t insist on getting even;

that’s not for you to do.

‘I’ll do the judging,’ says God. ‘I’ll take care of it’”

God’s heart breaks when someone is mistreated. He sees your pain, and He cares about your trials. Thankfully, God is a God of Justice. He will make all things right.

Release and be set free!

Forgiving someone who has wronged you is for you. Whether or not he says he’s sorry, whether or not she asks for forgiveness, forgive in your heart—ask God to help you release what you are holding on to.

Forgiveness sets your heart free.

Of course, it is not a one-time process. In fact, you may need to have multiple conversations with God about your situation. Forgiving is a journey. One step at a time.

But the path becomes clearer as we come to understand why we need to do something that seems so difficult: God has first forgiven us, and He asks us to forgive other. Jesus said,

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” —Matthew 6:14, 15

You may still feel resistance. I’m not forgiving him; he doesn’t deserve it.  Your feelings may be valid, but the truth is none of us deserve it; that’s what grace is about. Mercy and grace are gifts, extended to you by Jesus Christ.

Because of His amazing love, Christ can empower you to do the unthinkable in the eyes of the world: forgive someone who has wronged you.

Forgiveness releases the pain and frees you. No longer a victim, you are a victorious person who overcomes!

Remember, too, that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to reconcile or hang out with people who have hurt you. Sometimes the wisest and healthiest thing to do is be away from them and have boundaries to protect your heart from further pain.

A fresh wind is blowing. It’s the freedom you feel when you’ve forgiven those who have mistreated you.

Will you choose to harbor bitterness and resentment, or come into the light of hope—forgiving others because you have been forgiven first by God?

Freedom and lasting peace are possible. The choice is yours.

PRAYER

Lord, sometimes it is hard to wrap my head around the concept of forgiveness. It seems impossible in my human strength. But Your Word says that with You everything is possible. Even this. You have forgiven me, help me extend that same mercy to the person who has wronged me. Help me to forgive—and live free and at peace again. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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When Someone You Love Passes Away: Finding Wild Hope

Have you ever lost a good friend or loved one unexpectedly?

I have.

Just last week.

One of my closest friends from college and the years beyond, Laura, went from this world to the next. After a battle with the “c” word (a disease I will not even speak or write), she burst forth from time into eternity.

Heaven. A place of no pain. No tears. Unconditional love. And more peace and joy and incomprehensible beauty than any of us could ever imagine.

I hope her first moments in heaven were like the popular photo of a woman with a big, bright smile hugging Jesus tightly like there’s no tomorrow. But there will be an eternity of tomorrows for her in heaven.

Jesus joyfully greets her. Welcome home!

My friend Laura leaves behind an amazing husband and two kids. And a large extended family. And a whole lot of friends.

If you have lost a friend or family member, you may want to read my blog post about dealing with grief and loss and my book, Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough.

This side of heaven we live with the mystery of God’s ways. Why does He do what He does? Why didn’t God stop her disease or her passing?

Why, Lord, why?

We may not always understand His ways, but the One who loves us most gives us HOPE.

Wild hope.

Hope that believes that God knows what He is doing even when we do not. That his ways are higher, but for our ultimate good.

Hope that goes beyond expectations.

Despite hard things, and in the midst of tough times, you can trust God. He has more for you than you can ask or imagine—and His power is at work within you.

Even when you do not understand.

Wild hope is planting seeds of faith and expecting orchards of blessings. It’s courageous and expectant—and celebratory—knowing that your great expectations aren’t too large for the great, big God we serve.

We can have this kind of hope because Jesus Christ lived, died and rose again glorious and alive! For you. For me. He is our true Hope. Unpredictable? Yes. Unexpected? Certainly.

He goes beyond—far beyond—what we can imagine, and leads us into a future we never could’ve dreamed of.

So in times of defeat, doubt or discouragement, we pray. In times of joy and victory, we pray. And trust the God of abundance, the God of so much more.

We may sow with tears, but we will reap with armloads of joy! One day. Maybe soon.

Harvest time is coming.

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5 Ways to Make Your Christian Single Life More Successful

If you’re a single or single again Christ follower, you will definitely want to check out my Living Single blog.

Each post will encourage you with inspiring and relevant content for your dating life—and your whole life as a vibrant and emotionally healthy person.

So, whether you’re waiting or dating, getting over a breakup and looking to heal your heart or just wondering how to navigate life as a single person, there’s something for you.

To begin, here are links to my Top 5 Living Single blog posts. You’ll find more helpful info on the blog.

Read. Enjoy. And share with others.

And ask God to guide your dating life—and your whole life—into His absolute best for you.

1. The Power of Wisdom: Making Better Choices in Your Dating Life

Wisdom is essential—in your dating life and in your whole life. Without it we often do foolish things that hurt others or ourselves.

2. Waiting? 5 Important Ideas to Help You Wait Well

God has good reasons for delays. We may not always understand what He is doing or like it, but the One who loves us most asks us to obey his commands—not to withhold from us, but to protect us and guide us.

3. Building Confidence and a Solid Self Esteem

When you fail to see who you really are, you lose sight of your true worth and value. Like a pair of glasses with the wrong prescription, the lenses through which you’ve been viewing your life may have become distorted. And you need God’s perspective, the true view, to gain a clearer vision and see yourself as He sees you.

4. Brokenness and the Healing Power of Surrender

God is in the business of healing broken hearts and lives. He redeems our losses and messes for His good purposes. But it’s not always easy. The good news is that a transformation of the heart happens as we surrender to God our longing, our lack, our mess, our confusion, our whole hearts.

5. How the Church Can Welcome Singles and Help Them Thrive

While the church is a place to worship, connect and serve—a place to find community and fellowship—many singles find the church to be a lonely place. Some feel “less than” because of their marital status. They feel unseen, forgotten or left out…How do you meet their needs and ensure singles grow in their faith?

Read more helpful and encouraging blogs for singles by Jackie M. Johnson at….Living Single Blog. 

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Dealing with Grief and Loss: Powerful Hope for Finding Joy Again

Losing someone you loved is difficult. No doubt about it.

Whether the loss was due to a death, a separation, a divorce or a relationship breakup, it’s often a difficult and messy process to get through the sadness and back to joy again.

Recently, a friend of mine lost her mother. Her passing was unexpected. Sudden. She is wondering how to find her way forward.

Rev. Billy Graham passed in February. His life and ministry have touched the lives of people around the globe.

Although I never met him personally, he was an excellent example of a life well lived. Surely, he will hear the words from the Lord as he greets Him in Heaven, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

How do you move forward from grief and loss?

Navigating the strange and stormy waters of grief is hard. But not impossible.

Everyone’s healing journey will be different. And God may use different methods to lead you from sorrow to joy. And that’s okay. He is God. He knows what He is doing. We simply need to trust Him.

Comfort and support

Many people find comfort and support in the warm embrace of a close friend, a listening ear, or kind words. We need our friends to help us remember what we already know, or to say nothing and simply be there with us in the midst of the pain.

Soul support also comes thought journaling (writing down) prayers or feelings.

Healing can come through rest, or a change of scenery. Being out in the beauty of nature, God’s creation, is restorative. Music can be comforting, too.

Knowing God is with you, and that He is your comforter, brings peace as the words of Matthew 5:4 affirm, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Cling to God’s promises, hold on to hope, and surrender your pain to Him in prayer. He is with you—always.

Remember, that grief unprocessed, ignored or denied, will fester and build up inside you. But processing the pain brings release and relief. Feel your feelings and then chose to move forward, one step at a time, in the power of God’s Holy Spirit working in you.

Worship and the Word

When you are feeling hopeless the most powerful thing you can do is worship. Sing songs of praise. Or listen to them.

Despair cannot journey where praise and worship reside.

You may be too grief-stricken to know what to say. But you can put on a worship music CD, or even just sit with your eyes closed and ask God to heal your heart as you rest, focusing on His amazing love and comfort.

As we give God our praises, He gives us His presence.

Focusing on His character and what He has done for you lifts you to a new place.

Like rain soaks the desert and brings forth colorful cactus blossoms, worship and prayer bring renewal to a withering heart.  

Soak in God’s Word

In addition to worship, spending time reading God’s Word, the Bible, brings comfort and hope.

Discover the treasure that is in the Word of God. It is your spiritual food, nourishment every day; essential in times of need.

Open your Bible, there’s hope inside. Read it, ask God to open your eyes to the truth.

The good news is that there is life after loss. Day by day, step by step and choice by choice things start to change and light replaces the dark corners of your heart.

In March 2011, a tsunami caused by an 8.9 magnitude earthquake devastated northeastern Japan. It caused widespread destruction and extensive damage to coastal cities. The official death toll exceeded 9,000 lives. The landscape is now a sea of debris—a once thriving community is a veritable wasteland.

I once watched a TV program about that disaster and one survivor said, “There’s a different kind of strength you find after you’ve survived something terrible.”

Tragedies can undo us; they can also make us stronger.

When you are weak, God is your strong comfort. When you are exhausted, He is your strength—firm and secure. The Light of the World shines as your beacon—a lighthouse in the midst of the storm to guide you to safe harbor.

Light always overcomes the darkness.

 

Prayer: Lord, I come before you today. You know my heart; you see my tears. You hear my cries for help in this time of adversity. Some days I am sad, other days I am just numb. But you are with me always, and that makes all the difference. Help me through this time of grief and loss. You are stronger than anything that comes against me and I put my trust in You, the One who loves me most. I choose to leaning on you and your unchanging love and truth. Comfort my heart. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

For more help and hope on handling grief and loss or other difficult times, see Jackie M. Johnson’s Hope on the Go and Praying With Power When Life Gets Tough.

 

 

 

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Single on Valentine’s Day? 5 Ways to Find Joy

Single on Valentine’s Day?

For some unmarried folks, February 14 (the holiday that celebrates all things love and romance) can be challenging.

I know people in the “uncoupled” stage of life who bemoan their single status and gripe to just about anyone who will listen about what they don’t have. For example,

I just want a boyfriend.

I just want to be married.

Why does she get a second husband when I haven’t had one at all?” 

You probably know singles like that. I know I do.

Then there are the cynical ones who mock the red heart holiday with snide remarks like,

Who cares? It’s just a Hallmark holiday anyway.

On a more positive note, I know a bunch of interesting and intelligent single women who celebrate V-Day with friends—they throw a party and just have fun.

Singles look at this romantic holiday with very different attitudes.

So if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now, and you want to enjoy (not just endure) Valentine’s Day, you have some choices to make about your perspective and your attitude.

Here are five ways singles can find more joy on the love holiday—and the rest of the year: 

1. Know and believe the truth. First, your feelings are valid. It’s OK to be discouraged when you don’t have someone special to love (or like). But don’t set up camp there. Move forward with hope by telling yourself the truth about your identity and your single status.

• God’s Word says you are dearly loved, the “apple of His eye.” He is with you; He is for you. He cares about every area of your life. Yep, even your love life.

• Don’t allow one day of the year, February 14, define your identity. Whether you have a significant other or not, you are worthy and wonderful. 

• You are not “less than” or “not good enough” because you are single. It’s simply not true.

• And here’s a fact: You are not alone. Nearly 50.2 percent of us (or 124.6 million American adults) are single.

2. Surrender. Sometimes we hold on so tightly to what we think we want and how the whole dating/marriage thing is supposed to play out.

I have learned that the way to find peace is to surrender, to yield to the will of One who loves us most, and allow God to reign in this area of my life.

Knowing that God wants the very best for me allows me to trust Him. And be at peace.

In my book, When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty, I talk about the fact that God is all about love and relationships.

But sometimes we try to fill that desire for lasting love with other things or people, and they leave us feeling empty and alone.

“Often we try to load up our heart and fill the holes with what another person thinks, says, or does when it was meant to be filled by God. He won’t let anyone be our total fulfillment, otherwise we wouldn’t need Him.

It’s not wrong to want a relationship. God is all about relationships…As we put God first in our heart affections, He fills up the emptiness and we are able to receive the love of others, retain it, and give it away.

Perhaps you think because God hasn’t given you someone to love, that He doesn’t care or that He’s forgotten about your desires. God is not forgetful or uncaring. He is constantly at work in the lives of His children, and everything God does is for a reason—even His divine delays.”

3. Prepare. Are you ready to be in a relationship? Maybe it’s time to think about getting rid of the garbage in your head and your heart. You know, the stuff that no longer belongs—like bad attitudes about the opposite sex or a critical spirit.

Think about what you really want in your next relationship and how things can be different next time. Was the last guy you dated too serious and you want someone more playful? Did you have a hard time getting your previous girlfriend to attend church with you when that’s an important part of your life? What do you really want in a dating relationship?

4. Pray. Ask God to show you what needs to change in your own life to prepare for your next relationship.

What areas of your life need work—your spiritual life, physical, social, financial and the like?

Also, pray for your future husband or wife. Pray for the qualities you want in another person and ask God to develop in you the qualities that you need to bring to the table.

5. Choose joy now. Don’t wait to have a man in your life or a woman on your arm to be happy. Sure, it’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. But you, single friend, can choose to have peace and joy in your life despite your circumstances.

If you get invited to a pity party, don’t RSVP! Make a plan to get together with other single friends. Celebrate love of all kinds and send a card (yep, snail mail) to family members or friends to show you care.

Instead of drowning your sorrows in massive amounts of chocolate this Valentine’s Day, rejoice in who you are—dearly loved, special and chosen by God.

Despite your feelings, you can choose joy today.

Don’t let one candy-infused, heart holiday hijack your hope.

I, for one, choose to be confident and hopeful—on Valentine’s Day and every day of the year.

And you can too.

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