Ah, the holidays!
It’s the time of year when singles are more intensely aware of their singleness.
If you’re unmarried, most likely you’ve had to dodge that perennial question from prying relatives or friends at holiday gatherings:
“So, why are you still single?”
Or, maybe you’ve had to deal with the office holiday party dilemma when you don’t have a date, and the “plus one” on the e-vite blinks at you like tree lights gone awry.
For some singles, the Christmas season tends to exaggerate feelings that have been simmering all year long.
It’s a time to connect with loved ones and you feel anything but connected. Suddenly everyone around you seems to have a significant other or spouse and you feel so very solo.
Solitary. Alone.
Then there’s the sting when a pastor closes the Christmas Eve service with an admonishment to “Go and spend time with your families.”
Yeah, thanks, but I don’t have one.
Of course, some people have their family of origin—their parents and siblings—with whom they gather for the holidays.
But for others the cost to travel home for the holiday is simply unaffordable. Or, they don’t get along with some of their family members.
I get it.
It’s not always easy to see happy couples kissing under the mistletoe or walking arm in arm down a snowy sidewalk—laughing all the way—to who knows where.
So how can you enjoy, not just endure the Christmas season?
Here are three (3) great ways to consider to find more JOY in the season:
1. Change your perspective. If you are feeling lonely or blue, try to refocus attention away from self and onto the Savior. Ask him to lighten your mood.
You may feel sad or other emotions—and you have a right to your feelings. But don’t set up camp there; don’t stay there. Feel the pain, ask God to heal your heart, and then move forward allowing God to heal you in His timing.
Indeed, changes may not happen overnight. Surely, there is a time to grieve or feel miserable. But there is also a time to wipe away the tears, put on your coat, and go build new Christmas memories.
Oftentimes, the joy returns and new hope arises.
2. Find “family” where you can if yours is not available. My single friend Denise has often hosted a Christmas Day dinner for singles who have no place to go for the holiday. Or, have a gathering with friends and celebrate the season together.
3. Give and serve others. Doing things for others will bring JOY, not only to the people you help, but also to you!
Sharing a smile or a hello with your coffee barista or the clerk at the dry cleaning counter can make a difference. Some folks I know go to a local nursing home to sing Christmas carols or go to a local soup kitchen to serve food and spend time with those who are often forgotten.
3. Most importantly, draw near to the reason for the season: Jesus Christ. Reflect on the true meaning of Christmas and why we celebrate.
Remember the true story of the Christ child, the Son of God, who came to save the world and teach us how to love and have a better life. (Read Matthew 1 or Luke 2.)
Discover the love that changes everything. And you just may be amazed at what happens.
Instead of bemoaning your current state of singleness you can make new choices.
May God invade your heart with JOY—at Christmas and all the year through.
Merry Christmas!
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