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hope

Single on Valentine’s Day? Here’s Hope

For some singles, Valentine’s Day can be challenging–especially if you don’t have a special someone in your life right now.

I know people in the “uncoupled” stage of life who bemoan their single status and gripe to just about anyone who will listen:

I just want a boyfriend.

I just want to be married.

Why does she get a second husband when I haven’t had one at all?

You probably know single people like that. I know I do.

Then there are the cynical ones who mock V-Day with snide remarks like, Who cares? It’s just a Hallmark holiday anyway.

On a positive note, I know interesting and intelligent single women who celebrate with friends; they throw a party and just have fun.

Indeed, singles look at Valentine’s Day with very different attitudes. So if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend you can not only endure but enjoy Valentine’s Day.

Here are five helpful ways singles can find more HOPE and JOY on the love holiday—and throughout the year:

1. Know that you are enough. It’s OK to feel discouraged when you don’t have someone special to love (or like). But don’t set up camp there.

Move forward with hope by telling yourself the truth about your identity and your single status.

The truth is:

• You are dearly loved by God. You are the “apple of His eye.” He is with you; He is for you. He cares about every area of your life, even your love life.

• You are loved by others. Don’t discount the other kinds of love in your life—family love, friend love, and more. You may not have romantic love right now. But choose to be grateful for those in your life whom you love, and love you.

• You are not alone. Nearly 50.2 percent of us (or 124.6 million) American adults are single.

2. Let it go. Sometimes we hold on so tightly to what we think we want and how the whole dating/marriage thing is supposed to play out in our lives. We see what others have and get envious or jealous.

Instead, I’ve learned the way to find peace is to surrender, to let go of your heart’s desires and give them to God, the One who loves you most. Allow God to reign in this area of life.

Knowing that God wants the very best for me allows me to trust Him.

In my book When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty I talk about the fact that God is all about love and relationships. But sometimes we try to fill that desire for lasting love with other things, or people, and they lend up leaving us feeling empty and alone.

Often we try to load up our heart and fill the holes with what another person thinks, says, or does when it was meant to be filled by God.

He won’t let anyone be our total fulfillment, otherwise we wouldn’t need Him.

As we put God first in our heart affections, He fills up the emptiness and we are able to receive the love of others, retain it, and give it away.

Perhaps you think because God hasn’t given you someone to love, that He doesn’t care or that He’s forgotten about your desires. God is not forgetful or uncaring. He is constantly at work in the lives of His children, and everything God does is for a reason—even His divine delays.”

3. Prepare. Are you ready to be in a relationship? What needs to change in your life? Maybe it’s time to think about being the right person before finding the right person.

For instance, you may need to get rid of emotional “garbage” in your head and your heart—like bad attitudes about the opposite sex or a critical spirit.

Then, think about what you really want in a relationship and how things can be different next time. For example, maybe the last guy you dated was too serious and you want someone more playful? Or, you want to have your boyfriend or girlfriend attend church with you. Think about what’s important in your life.

4. Pray. Ask God to show you what needs to change in your own life to prepare for your next relationship—like your spiritual life, physical, social, financial and the like.

Also, pray for your future husband or wife. Ask God for His best for you. You can come confidently and boldly to Him and ask for your heart’s desire.

5. Choose joy now. Don’t wait to have a man in your life or a woman on your arm to be happy. Sure, it’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. But you, single friend, can choose to have peace and joy in your life despite your circumstances.

Make a plan to get together with other single friends. Celebrate love of all kinds and maybe send a card, e-card, or text to family members or friends to show you care.

Instead of drowning your sorrows in massive amounts of chocolate this Valentine’s Day, rejoice in who you are—dearly loved, special and chosen by God.

Don’t let one candy-infused, heart holiday hijack your hope.

Despite your feelings, or marital status, you can choose joy.

I, for one, choose to be confident and hopeful—on Valentine’s Day and every day of the year.

 

Photo: Pexels

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Prayer for the New Year!

A new year. A fresh start. Are you ready?

Here’s a prayer for you as the calendar flips from 2025 to 2026:

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the year behind us. Whether it was amazingly good or confusingly difficult, we choose to TRUST you that all things work together for the good–as you have promised.

We may not always understand or like it, but you are a good God who loves us. Our times are in Your hands.

With gratitude and HOPE, we approach a new year before us.

May it be better than expected.

May each of us know deeper depths of your great LOVE for us. May we find peace, despite circumstances. And JOY every day!

May we live with PURPOSE and passion. Lead and guide us into what you have in our work, family, friends, community, hobbies, travel, creative endeavors–all of it.

May we take the time to see the needs in others. And seek to HELP and offer hope as you empower us to do so.

Strengthen us, Lord, inside and out. That we may do Your will.

In Jesus mighty and powerful name we pray. Amen.

Amen! 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ANOTHER YEAR IS DAWNING

Another year is dawning, dear Father, let it be
In working or in waiting, another year with Thee;

Another year of progress, another year of praise,
Another year of proving Thy presence all the days.

Another year of mercies, of faithfulness and grace,
Another year of gladness in the shining of Thy face;

Another year of leaning upon Thy loving breast;
Another year of trusting, of quiet, happy rest.

Another year of service, of witness for Thy love,
Another year of training for holier work above;

Another year is dawning, dear Father, let it be
On earth, or else in Heaven, another year for Thee.

–Frances R. Havergal, 1874


Blessings and joy to you!

Jackie M. Johnson

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7 Helpful Things to Do When You’re Feeling Lonely


Most of us don’t like to admit it, but there are times when we feel…

Lonely.

Couple or uncoupled, we all feel the sting of loneliness, emptiness, or feeling disconnected at times. It’s normal. It feels awful, but it’s normal.

Maybe the holidays set off “the blues” in you. Or, maybe you just moved to a new city, and you don’t really know anyone yet.

Often, just in daily life we spend more time on our devices than with people in person—and we miss that face-to-face interaction. We’re connecting, but we just don’t feel very connected.

Then there’s the “Sunday afternoon” effect, when many singles feel more alone than ever. Sure, you may connect with a few people at church and then, as the afternoon lingers on, you feel disconnected. Most people have families, and you drive back to an empty apartment–alone.

Whatever the situation, loneliness hurts.

WHAT TO DO
So, what are some things you can do when you’re feeling lonely? Here are seven helpful ideas:

1. Know that it’s okay to feel lonely sometimes. Single or married, it is very common. Even if you love living the single life, loneliness can creep in from time to time. Why? Because we were created for connection with other people. Healthy love and friendships are vital to our well-being.

2. Don’t isolate yourself. Sure, it’s easy to bury your head in work, or get lost in movie marathons or video games because you don’t want to venture out or risk getting hurt. But we were built for community, for relationships. When people are too isolated, they can get discouraged or depressed.

3. I try to remember that I have a choice about what I’m telling myself. I don’t know how many times I’ve given in to self-pity and sadness. And I’ve said to myself, “I feel so alone right now, so I’m just going to be sad.”

Instead, I can choose to say to myself, “Yep, I’m feeling lonely right now. What can I do to find joy again?” I don’t have to stay stuck in the sadness. I can take positive action. I can call a friend. Or go for a walk. Or do something I enjoy.

4. Remember you may feel alone, but you’re not alone. God is with you. Always. He loves you and longs to connect with you. Prayer is connecting with God. Talk with Him as you would talk with a friend—honestly and openly. God’s wants His best for you, and He has the power heal your pain and make lasting changes.

5. Loneliness can be a catalyst—a nudge–to help move you forward in a new direction. For example, maybe you need to be more intentional about building community, making new friends, or renewing relationships that have gone by the wayside.

Ask yourself: What is one thing, even a small thing, I can do to connect with a positive, life-giving person this week?

Maybe your “nudge” has to do with gaining perspective.

Loneliness may last for a few hours or for a season. Ask God: What do You have for me in this season of my life?

Perhaps God is leading you to new purposes—like finally writing that book, or starting a new business, or doing that thing you really want to do, but have been putting off.

6. Avoid “desperate dialing,” meaning don’t call or text an old flame because you’re feeling lonely at the moment. You will most likely regret it. Focus forward, not backward.

7. Encourage someone else. It might sound odd, especially when you’re the one who’s hurting, but helping others can help you keep your mind off your own situation. Serving others not only helps them, but also brings joy to you.

Thankfully, loneliness will pass. And brighter days will come. In the meantime, choose to take one small step to get back into hope and joy.

Remember, God is with you. Be at peace.

 

 

RESOURCES by Jackie M. Johnson

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How to Feel More Connected in a Disconnected World

On a cool, crisp day in early fall, golden aspen leaves quake in the autumn breeze.

As they shimmer, in all their golden beauty against the backdrop of a clear blue sky, I remember why I love living in Colorado. 

Unlike any other trees, aspens are connected. While each individual tree stands alone, an aspen grove is literally one organism because their root systems are intertwined.

Likewise, people need community and connection with others in order to thrive.

Yet, often we feel disconnected. Maybe you’ve just moved to a new city and haven’t made friends yet. Or, feel like you connect with a lot of people online, but don’t have many “in person” friends to hang out with. You feel lonely.  

Whatever the case, we need bonds and relationships of all kinds—family, friends, community, or people we know from church, sports, or hobby groups.

When we choose to intertwine our lives with others we find emotional fulfillment and a heart to serve others.

And, we find joy!

Even simple acts connect us, like bringing a meal to a friend with a broken arm, or calling your grandmother just because.

Ask God to help you to find friends and people with whom you have common interests. Ask Him to fill the emptiness inside of you with His love, love that never leaves and is always with you. 

Community and friendship are essential to our well-being. 

You are not alone. We’re all connected.

 

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Dealing with GRIEF and LOSS? Here’s HOPE and POWERFUL PRAYERS

Loss and tragedy will strike each of us at one time or another whether it’s the death of a loved one, divorce, breakup, miscarriage, job loss, financial hardships, or another calamity.

Disaster changes the landscape of your life. And you stand amidst the emotional rubble and sometimes physical wreckage, and you wonder how you will ever cope.

No matter the type of loss, people handle loss and grief in many different ways.

Let’s look at Nehemiah’s story, and then find ways to restore comfort, hope and peace.

Nehemiah’s story

Nehemiah found help and hope in the wreckage of tragedy. Though he lived centuries ago, his life lessons still apply to us today. A Jewish man in a foreign land, Nehemiah worked for royalty as the cup-bearer to the king of Persia.

When he heard news that the city of Jerusalem lay in ruins and its walls had been burned and broken, he was greatly distressed and saddened. His heart broke for his people. In ancient times, city walls were essential for security and protection against the danger of all kinds of enemies.

Nehemiah prayed to God for the right words to say his boss, a very powerful king. He prayed and fasted, and prayed again. He praised God, asked for forgiveness, and presented his request to the king.

The good news is that this humble servant found favor. The king gave Nehemiah guarantee of safe passage with special papers and officers to accompany him to get timber rebuild the city walls.

Once in Jerusalem, Nehemiah enlisted help. They set about rebuilding and worked heartily. But, worn out and frustrated, the builders’ focus became more on the rubble around them and not the progress they had made.

Nehemiah 4:10 reads, “Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, ‘The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall’” (italics mine).

Have you ever felt like that? Like everything is crumbling around you, and the pieces of your problems lay at your feet like the wreckage from a collapsed building.

It’s too much. You can’t do this. You are simply overwhelmed.

Nehemiah was constantly in prayer. He and his volunteer wall builders regrouped, working hard for a cause they believed in.

When opposition came, they prayed—and posted guards to keep safe.

Finally, the wall was rebuilt and the city repopulated. And they praised God for all He had done for them!

After all that had transpired, they celebrated, as Nehemiah said to the people, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

Bouncing back from tragedy takes time—a lot of time. It also takes comfort, support and an abundance of prayer.

Rebuilding from loss
God is all about redeeming loss and pain, and healing wounds of all kinds. He is the Master at rebuilding, whether it’s rubble in the streets of Jerusalem or the wreckage in your heart.

We may try to deal with tragedy and the ensuing emotions that follow—sadness, anger, resentment, or guilt—in unhealthy ways.

Sometimes we don’t know what to do, so we do nothing and hope that one day the pain will simply go away.

Navigating the strange and stormy waters of grief is hard. But not impossible.

Everyone’s healing journey will be different. Yours may take longer than mine. God may use different methods to lead you from sorrow to joy. And that’s okay. He is God.

We simply need to trust Him.

How do you find your way forward through the grieving process?

No matter what type of loss you have incurred, comfort and support are the first steps. It can come from the warm embrace of a close friend, a listening ear, or kind words.

We need our friends to help us remember what we already know, or to say nothing and simply be there with us in the midst of the pain.

Many people find soul support as they journal their prayers or their feelings.

Healing also comes through rest, or a change of scenery.

The beauty of nature, God’s creation, is restorative.

Knowing God is with you, and that He is your comforter, brings peace as the words of Matthew 5:4 affirm, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Healing also comes as you release heart anguish through your tears. Cling to God’s promises, hold on to hope, and surrender your pain to Him in prayer.

Instead of holding it all inside, it can be helpful to talk about what happened with caring friends, family members or a Christian counselor who can help process the pain. Grief unprocessed, ignored or denied, festers. Processing the pain brings release and relief.

Powerful Healing
When you are feeling hopeless the most powerful thing you can do is worship.

Despair cannot journey where praise and worship reside.

You may be too grief-stricken to know what to say. But you can play worship music, or even just sit with your eyes closed and ask God to heal your heart as you rest, focusing on His amazing love and gentle comfort.

As we give God our praises, He gives us His presence.

Focusing on His character and gratefulness, what He has done for you, lift you to a new place. Like rain soaks the desert and brings forth cactus blossoms, worship and prayer bring renewal to a withering heart.

In addition to worship, spending time reading God’s Word brings comfort and hope. Maybe you already read the Bible, maybe you don’t. Now is the time to discover more of the treasure that is the Word of God. It’s your spiritual food, nourishment every day; essential in times of need.

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. (Romans 15:4)

Open the Bible, there’s hope inside.

The other side of pain is joy, the other side of darkness: light. There is life after loss.

In 2011, a tsunami caused by an 8.9 magnitude earthquake devastated northeastern Japan. It caused widespread destruction and extensive damage–with flooding that destroyed homes, schools and farmland for miles. The official death toll exceeded 9,000 lives.

The landscape is now a sea of debris—a once thriving community is a veritable wasteland.

Years ago I watched a documentary about the disaster and one survivor said, “There’s a different kind of strength you find after you’ve survived something terrible.”

Tragedies can undo us; they can also make us stronger.

Life may be challenging for you right now; you wonder how things will ever change. Take heart. Even in your darkest times, the hope of Christ shines brighter.

When you are weak, He is your strong comfort.

When you are exhausted, He is your strength—firm and secure.

The Light of the World, Christ, shines as your beacon—a lighthouse in the midst of the storm to guide you to safe harbor.

Light always overcomes the darkness. Trust God for new hope—your healing will come.



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POWERFUL PRAYERS IN TIMES OF LOSS 


Hear My Cry, Lord

Hear my prayer, O LORD, listen to my cry
for help; be not deaf to my weeping.
Psalm 39:12

Lord, I come before you sad today. You know my heart; you see my tears and hear my cries for help in this time of adversity. I cannot believe this has happened. Some days I am just numb. But you are with me, and that makes all the difference. I am not alone. Help me through this time of trouble, Lord. I know you are stronger than anything that comes against me and I put my trust in You. I’m leaning on you, Lord. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.


When I Need Comfort

Praise be to…the God of all comfort, who comforts us
in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Lord, I need you. I need a holy hug to comfort my grief-weary heart. Let me rest in the comfort of Your presence—a place of love, acceptance and peace. Though the storm of pain rages on, Captain my journey back to joy. With all of the consolation and reassurance I receive from you may I one day bring comfort to others in their time of need. In Jesus’ name. Amen.



Heal My Broken Heart

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3

Lord, I am completely heartbroken. My heart feels like it’s been shattered in thousands of tiny pieces, like glass on a hardwood floor. How could this happen? Will You please heal my wounded heart, and make something beautiful and worthy from this mess? Rebuild me, Lord. As You take the pieces of the past and form them into the mosaic of my life, help me to trust You. May I give You all the praise for all You are making me to be, healing me and making me whole from the splinters of yesterday. In Jesus’ name. Amen.


Joy Will Come Again

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with shouts of joy.
Job 8:21

Lord, I am learning that healing a broken, hurting heart is a process. As we journey from this pile of rubble in my life, give me strength to persevere. Help me not to wallow in resentment, fear, anger or sadness. I know I need to feel my feelings, but then have hope that You will give me strength to move forward. Rebuild me, Lord; realign my life with Your good purposes. Help me to arise to joy and laughter again, to arise to new hope. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

 

 

PRAYER RESOURCES by Jackie M. Johnson

Power Prayers for Women

Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough

Prayers With Purpose for Women

60-Second Refreshment: Power Prayers for Women

 

 

 

 

 

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