Waiting is never easy. But don’t be discouraged. Here’s a short, helpful lesson from the bamboo plant.
When you plant a bamboo seed, you wait a long time for something to grow. It seem that nothing is happening in the empty soil, NOTHING at all for four years.
You may get frustrated; you may even lose hope that anything will ever sprout. Because four years is a really long time.
And then…
Finally, in the fifth year, the bamboo plant shoots up a whopping 80 feet in one year!
Why? Because before it grows tall, the plant grows deep.  Such incredible growth could not have been possible without the extensive root system created during those first formative years—a strong support to hold the plant growth that was coming.
Are you tired of waiting?
Do you feel like nothing is happening in your situation?
Don’t give up just because you don’t see movement in your own life.
God is at work, always at work, behind the scenes. He is growing in you patience. He is preparing you. He is preparing your situation.
For just the right time.
Keep the faith.
You never know when your day will come, and things begin to change. 🍃
Do you ever feel insecure? Like you’re not “good enough.”
You feel invisible or embarrassed because you don’t believe you have enough education, enough beauty, enough money, or enough of whatever it is you think you need to be.
You question things incessantly: Does he love me? Can I really do this job? Do I look fat? Am I doing this right?
Why do we feel insecure? Lack of confidence or anxiety arises in our lives for many reasons.
I know women who feel self-conscious because they’ve gained weight or have bad skin.
Perhaps you’re a new mom who’s hesitant about anything baby-related and wonder, “Am I doing this right?”
I remember when I was a new manager and felt inadequate for the monumental tasks on my burgeoning to-do list.
Certainly, insecurity can manifest in many ways.
Sometimes we assume what others think when we don’t really know; we project our own insecurity onto the situation.
On some level, it’s normal to question things. But if we obsess and stress about our insecurities all the time, we surely need relief.
You may be highly sensitive to the comments of others because of your own wounded past.
Do you feel unworthy? Perhaps it’s because you’ve experienced large losses in life. You may have grown up in a home of utter chaos and inconsistent loving. You may have felt unloved or rejected.
If you have been abused or abandoned (physically or emotionally) or belittled, you may have no real “foundation” for secure love—no emotional base upon which the building blocks of confidence and true worth stand strong. You don’t know what nurture or comfort feel like, and that can affect your level of confidence in the future.
We all handle trauma differently, but certainly the lack of affirmation and encouragement from grownups (parents, teachers, coaches, and others) to help you build a strong sense of identity as a child can lead to a distorted perception of yourself or of God.
Distorted images — too much or too little self-esteem Lack of confidence and its opposite, pride, comprise both ends of the spectrum. Is there a balance somewhere in between for a healthy self-image and a confident spirit?
Consider this from my book, When Love Ends about a true sense of self-esteem:
Perhaps you’ve seen a woman who thinks she is “all that.” Her smugness and conceit is contrasted with the person who has low self-esteem: she thinks she is “none of that.” She focuses more on her mistakes instead of what she does right. She is often sad or fearful, and her insecurity prevents her from speaking up, taking chances, or moving forward.
Whether it’s too high or too low, ask yourself if your assessment of your self is accurate. Ask God to give you insight.
A woman with a healthy self-esteem respects herself.
She feels secure and worthwhile because of what God says about her. She has confidence in relationships and in life and generally more joy. She knows she has significance; she matters. With her sense of worth and value intact, she sits up straight and walks tall. Her head up, this confident woman is friendly, gentle and kind. She makes eye contact when she speaks, and she doesn’t constantly apologize for everything she says or does.
Living your true identity We all have our reasons for feeling insecure. But we don’t have to stay there; we have choices for moving forward and finding healing.
Instead of living in insecurity, we can choose to live “in security.” That means we are secure in our identity because we know Whose we are.
As you uncover the truth about what God says about you, that confirms who you really are. What does God say about your true identity? Here are just a few:
You are… Accepted by God – Romans 15:7 Loved dearly – Colossians 3:12 Chosen – Ephesians 1:11 Blessed – Matthew 5:2-12 Friend – John 15:15 Bride of Christ – Revelation 19:7 Child of God – John 1:12 His workmanship – Ephesians 2:10 Citizen of heaven – Philippians 3:20 Light of the world – Matthew 5:14 His co-worker – 2 Corinthians 6:1 Victorious – 1 Corinthians 15:57
Self-confidence or God confidence? The whole issue of having confidence or not resides with what or whom we are putting our trust.
Are you relying on your sense of self or your idea of true beauty from women’s magazines, Hollywood actors or what other people say? If so, your self-esteem will quickly crumble.
Having confidence is about much more than concern over your looks. God sees things another way. 1 Samuel 16:7 reads, “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Instead of relying on what others say or finding confidence in yourself, you can build “God-confidence” by remembering that He can do what you cannot.
In other word, focus on what our powerful and mighty God can do through you, not on your own limited resources.
One of the most memorable characters in the Bible lacked confidence. Remember the scene at the burning bush?
God called to Moses and asked him to go to Pharaoh, the head of Egypt, to get the people of Israel of out that country.
Instead of thinking “God can” he fretted “Can I?” and basically said, “Please send someone else.” (Ex. 4:13). He felt totally unqualified; he wasn’t eloquent enough and was slow of speech (4:10).
Moses wasn’t looking at what God could do, he was fearful of what he himself was not.
Generations later we read that story and wonder why Moses was so uncertain.
I mean, in that dialog alone God showed him three miracles!
A bush that burns but does not burn up,
a staff that turns into a snake and back again and
Moses’ own hand that God turned leprous and then back again.
God even said, “I will be with you…” (3:12). You’d think he would believe. But he doubted again and again. Yet, God used him mightily.
The power of prayer When we feel ill-equipped or inadequate, that’s the time to totally rely on God and what He does through us.
You can be secure when you know the One in whom we can put our confidence.
“It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure” (2 Samuel 22:33).
Immerse yourself in God’s truth and love, and you will find insecurity fading and confidence growing in your life.
When we see with the eyes of Christ, we see who we really are.
POWERFUL PRAYER
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.” Jeremiah 17:7
Lord, so many times I have based my confidence on my own abilities, on what my friends think, or what I hear in the media. I doubt that I am “enough,” or if I am adequate for the tasks at hand each day. Will you help me to move away from distorted thinking that says I have to be something I am not. Help me to dwell in the truth, and put my trust in the Lord. Please empower me with greater confidence. When I know that I am Yours, I can make better choices from a solid bedrock of total acceptance. You are my sure foundation. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re alone. No special someone. No romantic relationship.
But your “single” status doesn’t mean you have to be sad or discouraged on February 14.
Don’t let one candy-infused, heart holiday hijack your hope.
Surprisingly, you can enjoy, not just endure Valentine’s Day, when you choose a new perspective on the annual heart holiday.
Sure, traditionally, Valentine’s Day has been a celebration of love and romance. But is all love “romantic love”? What about the other kinds of love? What if we chose to celebrate those too?
Here’s the thing: the word “LOVE,” in the English language is all encompassing.
We love pizza. We love our pets. We love our family. And, if we have a significant other, we may love them too.
However, the Greek language defines different kinds of love in our lives.
Eros – romantic love Phileo – friendship love Storge – love and affection for family Agape – unconditional, sacrificial love (as in God’s love for us)
What if, this Valentine’s Day, we celebrated these other loves in our lives?
Like calling a family member to say, “love you.” Or texting a friend to let her know she is loved. Or even treating yourself to a special treat or activity you enjoy to celebrate self-love. There are lots of options.
As singles, we can celebrate the love we have, not bemoan what we don’t have.
You don’t need to wait to have a man in your life or a woman on your arm to be happy. Choose joy now.
Let’s celebrate love of all kinds. And find new contentment.
When the clock strikes midnight on December 31, suddenly it’s a brand new year. A blank slate.
A new beginning.
I, for one, love a fresh new year. It’s so full of potential and possibilities. Anything can happen!
I’ve been pondering what will make this year different? And how to make this year the best year yet.
How can we move from doing nothing to having goals–or from having goals to actually achieving them?
I think it starts with prayer and a change in perspective.
Here are six (6) ideas to consider for making this year a really good one:
1. Start with prayer. Take some time to talk with God about your life. Reevaluate what’s really important to you. Wait and listen for answers.
God always answers prayers. Maybe not always in the way you think He should or on your timetable. But it’s in those conversations with God that old patterns fall away and new ideas come forth.
Prayer will be the foundation for your best year yet, and for your life.
2. Ask questions. Get a notebook or a device and start answering some basic questions that will help you move forward:
What am I thankful for?
What do I need to get rid of (or let go of) in my life (e.g., bad habits, unhealthy relationships, etc.)?
What do I need more of in my life (e.g., more rest, more time with my friends, more self discipline, etc.)?
What do I really want in life?
3. Get a new perspective. As you ask yourself the questions above, don’t forget this key question: What does God have for me? The good news is that God is loving and good. He wants the best for you!
4. Make a plan and take action. Write down your top goals for the year and list action steps you want to take under each goal.
For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds, some of your action steps could include:
1) See my doctor.
2) Find recipes with healthy foods that taste good.
3) Make time in my schedule each week for grocery shopping, cooking and packing lunches.
4) Make a workout schedule.
5) Have a friend to call for encouragement when I don’t want to do any of these steps.
And so on.
It helps to break down your goal into smaller steps you can achieve on a daily or weekly basis.
5. Overcome obstacles. In any attempt to change, there are often roadblocks. Think about what is keeping you from what you really want. What are the obstacles and how can you overcome them?
Sure, those are big questions. As a Christ follower, I have learned—often the hard way—that I can’t make change happen in my own human strength. I need the power of God working in me and through me to make lasting changes. I need His power to take action and His power to wait.
6. Remember the basics. As you think and pray and make a plan for the new year, it’s helpful to get back to the fundamental things that help build a better life and a healthier you like: getting enough rest and exercise, drinking plenty of water, eating healthy food, getting fresh air, taking in copious amounts of God’s truth, having positive relationships (and not isolating yourself when you feel lonely), serving others, expressing your creativity, managing stress and making time for fun, play and laughter.
So pray and plan.
Take action and trust God.
Start small and don’t freak yourself out.
Remember: God is with you. And He will lovingly lead you step by step.
Loneliness. It’s not a topic most people talk about.
Whether you’ve just ended a relationship and friends are scarce, or you’re so busy at work that you don’t have time for new friendships—there are many reasons we feel isolated or alone.
In fact, we can be lonely because we are physically alone, or we can feel left out or alienated even when we are surrounded by people.
No matter what the reason, it hurts to feel isolated, disconnected or unnoticed.
Loneliness vs. Solitude But there’s a difference between loneliness and solitude. Sometimes we need the peace and quiet time alone brings; other times we need connection with others.
Solitude can be replenishing after a hard week at work or in our prayer time with God. With the One who loves us most we can pour out our problems to God, ask for help, and thank Him for all He has done for us.
Hosea 2:14 reads, “I will lead you into solitude and there I shall speak to your heart.” In the stillness, in the quiet, we can hear what God is trying to communicate to us. Away from noise and distractions we can absorb truth in new ways.
Loneliness is different.
One definition says that “Loneliness is a painful awareness that we lack close and meaningful contact with others. It involves a feeling of inner emptiness, isolation and intense longing.”
In addition, you may feel feel sad, anxious or inferior because you are unable to connect with people—or connect with a certain person.
The importance of connection We live in society that exalts self-reliance, and a time when we are more disconnected than ever.
From my living room in Colorado, I can email my family in Minnesota or Facebook with readers in Brazil. Other the other hand, technology may limit a person’s face-to-face-interactions and in-person friendships.
Online, for instance, we may go wide (have a lot of ‘friends’) but not go deep (as in having meaningful relationships with good friends).
We all need to connect with other people.
We can do so by building bridges to other people, and connecting in person, and not living solely a virtual life. Bridges provide a link from one place to another. Friendships connect one isolated person to another, and soon community is built.
Getting connected We were created to need each other and to serve each other’s needs. Indeed, our longing for love, friendship and heart friends (close friends) is real. It’s vital to our emotional wellbeing.
The truth is, you can build connections in all different areas of life. Consider these areas of community to connect with others:
• Spiritual community with people at church, or in a small group, prayer group, missions team or one-on-one with someone like-minded. • Social community through a bowling league, mom’s group, singles group, coffee with friends. • Intellectual community with people from work, joining a book group or other group with shared interests. • Physical community in joining a sports team, dance class or getting workout partner for the gym. • Neighborhood or city community can be built be showing up at your local playground, a neighborhood block party, or mentoring a disadvantaged youth. • Virtual community is a way to connect with others, but make sure it’s not your only connection with other people.
Connecting with God
Of course, the first one to make a connection with is the most important One, with God.
Through prayer and our relationship with God we have the most primary and meaningful connection possible.
Prayer is talking with God, not at Him. It’s a holy conversation of both speaking and listening. Your words don’t have to be perfect or rehearsed, just real and from your heart.
Tell God how you feel and what you need. Thank Him for all He has done for you and for those you love. When you don’t know what to say, even the simple prayer of, “Help!” will reach the loving ears of God.
How to overcome loneliness • Ask God to make His presence real and close to you today. Ask Him to help you have hope things really can change in your life. You can also ask God to give you courage to reach out to another person today or to bring caring relationships—like friends, family, or other new people into your life. • Pray. Below are some starter prayers to help get you out of feeling lonely and back to feeling hopeful again. • Ask yourself: What is one thing you can do today to build a bridge, to connect with another person?
Jesus said, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).
When you know God, you are never alone.
***
Here are some short prayers on Overcoming Loneliness to get you started…
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Psalm 25:16 Lord, You know the pain I am in right now. I feel so empty and alone. I know I’ve been isolated and need contact with other people, but sometimes it’s hard. Will you please help me learn how to build bridges to other people? I need closer friendships. I need close-knit community. I long for it. Help me to overcome and find joy again. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20 Lord, what a comfort it is to know that You are always with me, and that You never leave. So many times people disappoint me. I want to trust and make connections with people, but it hasn’t happened yet. With you, there is peace and stability. You are my strength when I am weak, my true consolation when I am sad. Here in Your presence I abide, I dwell. Thank you for always being near. I am never alone. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
God sets the lonely in families… Psalm 68:6 Lord, I need you. I have felt alone and friendless lately. Will you help me to get connected with my family, or people who may become like family to me? Will you fill this emptiness in me with Your love, so I can be filled up and have something to offer others? I need community. I need friendship. Please show me where I belong. I want to walk this path of life with others who will build me up, not tear me down. And, I want to encourage others, to give and take. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 Lord, it makes me glad to know that you are for me! You, the One who is ultimate love and ultimate authority designed me and has favor toward me. Thank you. In my desolate desert times I have felt so alone, so desperate at times. But when I remember the truth that You are with me and for me, it releases the pain and fills my heart with hope and joy. I am grateful. And I praise Your holy name. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
