Are you dealing with a difficult person right now?
Whether it’s in your home or workplace or someplace else, it can be emotionally exhausting.
Maybe you have a co-worker who’s an arrogant know-it-all.
Perhaps your spouse constantly nags you like a woodpecker on an oak tree.
Could it be that you have to live with the hurtful words of someone who is critical and manipulative?
You have choices
I’m sure you have your own list of things that annoy you—like people who ignore, interrupt or insult you.
No matter what happens or how people treat you, you can choose how you will respond.
You can respond defensively and angrily, or kindly with respect and tact. You can change the subject. You can walk away. Or, you could choose not to argue and take the high road.
You have choices.
Of course, it’s natural to be offended when someone hurts our feelings, but what we do with that offense—whether we hold it inside and let it fester, or release it—makes all the difference.
Here are some helpful ways to deal with conflict and strife from the difficult people in your life:
First, pray and ask God how to best handle your challenging situation. God may take you out of it, or He will sustain you while He creates an exit. Or, knowing the creative God we serve, He may just do something else.
Jesus had some remarkable things to say about dealing with difficult people. He said: love your enemies. And often, our human nature wants to do otherwise.
Sometimes the most loving thing to do is to “speak the truth in love” and say the hard things, with kindness and tact, but also with boldness and truth.
Keep perspective. Hurting people hurt other people. They may have issues in their life that make them act the way they do.
Of course, past pain in someone else’s life doesn’t excuse bad behavior in yours. Knowing that, however, may help you to better deal with the situation. Often the problem is not about you, it’s about them.
Communicate with tact. Don’t blame or accuse, instead say, “When you (describe their action), I feel (describe how you feel). “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
However, there may be times when, despite your best efforts, you may need to leave the room and handle the situation another time so anger can diffuse.
Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Maybe you are learning deeper depths of patience through a challenging relationship. I remember my own lessons years ago in learning to stand up for myself, when someone was treating me poorly.
Most importantly, pray—for the person who’s annoying you, and for grace and strength in your response. Your prayers are powerful and effective!
Philippians 4:13 states, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Know that you cannot do it in your own strength. You may want to get angry and lash out; you may think revenge is the only way, but God can empower you and enable you to reply in God-honoring ways.
Coping with difficult people is part of life. It isn’t always easy, but our all-powerful and loving God can give you the strength and wisdom for your challenges.
Have hope .Trust God. Take action. And watch what happens.
You may just be positively surprised.
POWERFUL PRAYER
Lord, I have a challenging person in my life right now, and sometimes I don’t know what to do. You tell us to love our enemies, and my human nature wants to do otherwise. Will show me how and give me the strength to do so? Pour out your power in me to show kindness, even when it is not merited by another person. Give me discernment to know when to face a situation and when to walk away. I choose the high road of love; protect my heart. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
Psalm 34:19
For more help and hope from Jackie M. Johnson, check out “Praying with Power When Life Gets Tough
