Then you will know that I am the LORD;
those who hope in me will not be disappointed.
Isaiah 49:23
Life is full of disappointments.
Your boss promoted your co-worker, not you. Your manuscript got rejected. Your family member bailed on Thanksgiving again–and you miss them. Your boyfriend didn’t show for your birthday party. How do you deal with disappointments?
Dashed hopes and thwarted dreams come in all shapes and sizes, and they’re always painful.
Of course, it’s normal to feel upset when hard things happen; God designed us with emotions. But it’s essential to deal with your disappointments so little hurts don’t turn into large ones.
Disappointment can spiral into despair or depression if you don’t get a hold of your thought life, what you say to yourself about yourself or your circumstances.
So when disappointment knocks on your door, how do you handle your discontentment?
Will you sulk or will you stand strong on the promises of God?
Here are some helpful ways to pull yourself out of the disappointment spiral:
What you tell yourself matters. Disappointment is a part of life. Whether they’re big hurts or little ones it’s what you do with your pain that determines how you will move forward.
What are you saying to yourself about what’s happened? Are you feeling hopeless and thinking, “I’m never going to find a job”? Or hopeful, “I guess that wasn’t the right job for me. God has something better suited to my skills; I will bounce back.”
Don’t mull, release disappointments. My mother used to say that garbage needs to be taken out at least once a week, and so does the garbage in your heart.
When you hold onto frustration, resentment or discouragement it can fester inside. Instead, feel your feelings, and then release your pain. Let it go. The best way to do that is in prayer; talk to God about how you feel and what happened. He hears, He sees, and He truly cares.
Wait on God to make things right. When disappointment comes, you may think it’s the end of the story. But it may not be; that’s where discernment comes and the wisdom to wait. Waiting strengthens your trust muscles, teaching you to depend solely on God, not your circumstances.
There’s a popular saying, “Don’t place a period where God has placed a comma.” It may be the final curtain or it may simply be an intermission, a time to wait on God.
My friend Barbara had been dating Steve for more than a year, and while he’d brought up the topic of marriage she was uncertain about some things. So she ended the relationship. Hard as it was, Barbara held to her trust in God to make things right.
Whether they got back together or not, she knew that God had his best in mind for her. She closed the door on this relationship, and chose to get on with her life.
Unbeknownst to Barbara, God was doing an amazing transformational work in Steve’s heart about God’s design for marriage and other things.
One Saturday afternoon, Barbara was praying and felt the Holy Spirit tell her to be open to Steve if he were to call her
She didn’t think he would contact her. She thought it was over—they both did.
But God had different plans.
That same Saturday afternoon, Steve called Barbara from a mountain top where he’d been praying and listening to God. Steve didn’t think she’d pick up the phone, but she did.
They began to connect in an entirely new way; after a time apart that drew them solely to God and not each other, they both felt that God was reuniting them. They knew that the Lord had put them back together, and He had a plan for their relationship. Shortly after that they got engaged, and two months later were married. And now they’ve been together for more than a decade.
Trust God in the silent times. He is working. Always working.
Get a fresh perspective. Ask yourself, “How can I view this situation differently?” Perhaps you need a fresh perspective.
Just as flying high in an airplane helps you to see the bigger picture of the earth below, getting a new perspective on your circumstances can help you feel better.
Ask God to open your eyes to the truth about what’s happening so you can see more clearly how to pray and what to do.
We all go through emotional growing pains at times that serve to make us stronger on the inside. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this situation? How can my faith be strengthened here?”
Don’t get disillusioned with God. If you’ve been disappointed, you may feel like God doesn’t care or He’s abandoned you. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Despite the situation, don’t let your circumstances rob you from the unchanging truth that God is wiser than you and me, and that He knows best.
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” All things? Even this painful disappointment? Yes, even this.
We don’t know how or when, but God promises to work all things together for a higher and better purpose. That’s where trust comes in.
Lift up your eyes. When discouragement or disappointments have you down, it’s time to look up. Psalm 121:1-2 says, “I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Instead of looking all around at your circumstances or looking down in despair, choose to look to the One who has the power to do something about your situation. He will lift you up.
Deal and heal. Unless you remove dandelions by the roots, their little yellow heads will keep popping up in your yard. Likewise, when you get to the root of your issues you can begin to rid the landscape of your life of irritations like constant regret or bitterness.
As you deal with your emotions—feeling your feelings, not ignoring them and surrendering your pain to God in prayer—you will begin to heal.
The power of prayer gets to the root of the issue because God heals from the inside out. As you pray, God changes your discouragement to encouragement or from sadness to joy and a much more joyful self emerges.
Prayer changes things, and it changes you. As you pray about your disappointments, be encouraged and remember the One to whom we pray. God Almighty is all-powerful, and full of more strength and wisdom that we can ever comprehend. He can take care of your situation.
Our times are in His hands.
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