How to Get Over a Breakup – Part 4 (Moving Forward and Dating Again)

Let the morning bring me word
of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:8

Sunrise in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains can be spectacular. The first rays of sunlight crawl across the eastern plains, and gradually increasing in brightness to reveal—like footlights on a stage—the splendor of majestic Pikes Peak.

Goodbye darkness, hello light!

It’s a fresh start in your heart, too, as breakup pain is fading and hope is waking up.

Now it is day, and you are rebuilding—waking up to the rest of your life, finding purpose and vision, and learning to make healthier choices in relationships next time.

You have changed.

And, like re-growth comes after a forest fire, restoration comes after a breakup too. Your past will always be a part of who you are; history happened. But as you walk forward by faith, you discover new companions like inner strength and unexpected joy. Hope arises.

Things start to get better.

As you learn to live “beyond the breakup” and find your way forward, you discover that letting go of the past is truly possible.

You come alive again and remember things you’ve forgotten or put aside like: gratitude, friendships, serving others and maybe even living your dreams.

The promise of a new day signals a chance for new beginnings. And when the time is right, you may want to start dating again.

Dating again—and making better choices.
In this new season of your life, you may want to think about how you will do things differently in your next dating relationship.

Think about the kind of person you want to date and how you’ll date—the world’s way or God’s way. In Western culture, dating is often recreational and include levels of emotional and physical intimacy that are contrary to Christian beliefs.

For the Christ-follower, we choose to follow God’s Word, the Bible for how to treat people in life. And while the Bible does not have an Intro to Dating 101 section, we know that He desires people to treat each other with honesty, respect and honor.

We can look at the commands of living a holy life and apply them to all our relationships, including dating and marriage. The book of Ephesians lists a few:

Be completely humble, be patient, bear with one another (4:2);
Speak truthfully (4:25);
In your anger do not sin (4:26);
Build up others with your words (4:29);
Get rid of bitterness (4:31);
Be kind and compassionate;
Forgive each other (4:32); and
Live a life of love (5:2).

Sounds like a good place to start.

Finding Mr. Right
When you think about whom you want to date or marry, many essential traits come to mind. What do you want in another person? Whom do you want to become?

Here are five traits to consider—to be and to look for as a Christian who wants to connect with another believer—Christian, Communication, Character, Chemistry, and Calling.

Christian means that the other person has a committed walk with God, He has accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and he’s on a path of growth and discovery. What else does that mean for you? Do you want someone who will attend church with you every Sunday? Do you want to pray together as a couple? Think about how you want to live out your spiritual life with another person.

Communication is talking and listening, building rapport and intimacy, sharing, and more. What kind of communication important to you in a relationship? Are you comfortable going deep in conversation? What is “good communication” to you?

Character refers to temperament, personality and moral fiber. Does he have integrity? Does his keep his promises? How do your personalities mesh? How do you handle conflicts when they arise?

Chemistry is another word for attraction. Is he handsome in your eyes? Does he have qualities that appeal to you? Of course, chemistry and attraction are important in a relationship, but true beauty is more than a perfect smile or fit body. It’s both inner and outer qualities, and how that person makes you feel.

Calling is the term I’ll use here for God’s vision for your relationship. Is it right for the long term? Has God called you to marriage with this man to be his life partner? Of course, you don’t know that at the start of a relationship. As you get to know each other, and every step of the way, be in prayer about God’s leading for you two as a couple.

Look how far you’ve come in your heart healing journey!

Despite the darkness, morning always comes.

Remember, that even on days when clouds block the sun’s rays, the sun is still there—even when you cannot see it. Likewise, obstacles will come in your love life, too. But the light of God’s love and truth remains constant, even when you cannot see or feel it.

With God’s power and presence, you can move forward with hope and confidence.

It’s a brand-new day!