For some singles, the February 14 heart holiday, celebrating all things love and romance, can be challenging–especially if you don’t have a special someone in your life right now.
I know people in the “uncoupled” stage of life who bemoan their single status and gripe to just about anyone who will listen:
I just want a boyfriend.
I just want to be married.
Why does she get a second husband when I haven’t had one at all?
You probably know single people like that.
I know I do.
Then there are the cynical one who mock V-Day with snide remarks like,
Who cares? It’s just a Hallmark holiday anyway.
And yet, on a positive note, I know interesting and intelligent single women who celebrate with friends; they throw a party and just have fun.
Indeed, singles look at Valentine’s Day with very different attitudes.
So if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a special someone, you can not only endure but enjoy Valentine’s Day.
Here are five helpful ways singles can find more HOPE and JOY on the love holiday—and throughout the year:
1. Know that you are enough. It’s OK to feel discouraged when you don’t have someone special to love (or like). But don’t set up camp there. Move forward with hope by telling yourself the truth about your identity and your single status. The truth is:
• You are dearly loved by God. You are the “apple of His eye.” He is with you; He is for you. He cares about every area of your life, even your love life.
• You are loved by others. Don’t discount the other kinds of love in your life—family love, friend love, and more. You may not have romantic love right now. But choose to be grateful for those in your life whom you love, and love you.
• You are not alone. Nearly 50.2 percent of us (or 124.6 million) American adults are single.
2. Let it go. Sometimes we hold on so tightly to what we think we want and how the whole dating/marriage thing is supposed to play out in our lives. We see what others have and get envious or jealous.
Instead, I’ve learned the way to find peace is to surrender, to let go of your heart’s desires and give them to God, the One who loves you most. Allow God to reign in this area of life. Knowing that God wants the very best for me allows me to trust Him.
In my book When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty I talk about the fact that God is all about love and relationships.
But sometimes we try to fill that desire for lasting love with other things, or people, and they lend up leaving us feeling empty and alone.
“Often we try to load up our heart and fill the holes with what another person thinks, says, or does when it was meant to be filled by God. He won’t let anyone be our total fulfillment, otherwise we wouldn’t need Him.
It’s not wrong to want a relationship. God is all about relationships…As we put God first in our heart affections, He fills up the emptiness and we are able to receive the love of others, retain it, and give it away.
Perhaps you think because God hasn’t given you someone to love, that He doesn’t care or that He’s forgotten about your desires. God is not forgetful or uncaring. He is constantly at work in the lives of His children, and everything God does is for a reason—even His divine delays.” — When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty, by Jackie M. Johnson.
3. Prepare. Are you ready to be in a relationship? What needs to change in your life? Maybe it’s time to think about being the right person before finding the right person. For instance, getting rid of emotional “garbage” in your head and your heart—like bad attitudes about the opposite sex or a critical spirit.
Then, think about what you really want in a relationship and how things can be different next time. For example, maybe the last guy you dated was too serious and you want someone more playful? Or, you want to have your boyfriend or girlfriend attend church with you. Think about what’s important in your life.
4. Pray. Ask God to show you what needs to change in your own life to prepare for your next relationship—like your spiritual life, physical, social, financial and the like.
Also, pray for your future husband or wife. Ask God for His best for you. You can come confidently and boldly to Him and ask for your heart’s desire.
5. Choose joy now. Don’t wait to have a man in your life or a woman on your arm to be happy.
Sure, it’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. But you, single friend, can choose to have peace and joy in your life despite your circumstances.
Make a plan to get together with other single friends.
Celebrate love of all kinds and maybe send a card, e-card, or text to family members or friends to show you care.
Instead of drowning your sorrows in massive amounts of chocolate this Valentine’s Day, rejoice in who you are—dearly loved, special and chosen by God.
Don’t let one candy-infused, heart holiday hijack your hope. Despite your feelings, or marital status, you can choose joy today.
I, for one, choose to be confident and hopeful—on Valentine’s Day and every day of the year.
Photo by Jill Wellington from Pexels
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